Thursday, 18 February 2016

Where does my heart lie?

          

                                  Where does my heart lie?
  
Where the grass spreads 
around me sawing in the wind  
and makes me itchy.

Where the harakeke 
waves to me in the wind 
as I walk  down the gravel path.

Where the bees swim around in the air 
buzzing, talking to me 
and the bell birds tweet, singing a song.

Where waves in the river
crash against each other, 
having a fight.

Where the flowers
lay around me making me sneeze.








I am learning to to use more personification in my poem.
I think I am going well because I have got lots of ideas. I think my poem is multistructural because I can't connect my ideas yet, but I have got a few.
For example “the harakeke waves to me as I pass.”
My next step is to connect my ideas.

5 comments:

  1. I love your poem it connects really well. I love it how you say" where waves in the river crash against each other , having a fight." It gives me a great image.

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  2. This made me feel like summer, and made me feel all warm inside.

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  3. Wow that's lovely and very thought provoking. It is making me really see what you are saying. Keep up the good work

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  4. Wow Sophia this is a well thought
    out piece of writing. To be honest
    I feel like I am in the place with you because
    you use great describing words and it just pulls the
    reader into your poem.
    I really like it how you said
    ‘ the bell birds tweet singing a song ‘ that part was well thought
    out because you connected it to a human action.
    Well done Sophia you really did a great job on that piece of writing
    keep up the great work. From Beth.

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  5. Nice work! I like the way you said the harkakeke waves to me in the wind and how the waves have a fight. It's like when I go to lake kanierie. Definitely an 11 out of 10👌.

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